As you search for love, how can you know quickly if you are compatible with someone? A date may feel like one of the best nights you’ve had in a long time—after all, an evening filled with great food and laughter with an attractive person goes a long way. These are good signs, but not necessarily enough to seal the deal. Let’s discuss the differences between chemistry and relationship compatibility.

Defining Compatibility

Sharing similar values and core beliefs is ultimately what makes two people compatible.

A highly compatible couple enjoys spending time together. They often agree to disagree, and this works because they appreciate and respect each other deeply.

Their basic life goals align, allowing them to accept each other’s differences. Two identical personality types aren’t necessary to create a compatible relationship, but mutual respect and a shared value system is essential.

Defining Chemistry

Understanding compatibility begs the question, is chemistry necessary? Yes and no.

Here’s the problem with chemistry—it creates dating blinders. Instant attraction is hot and sexy and can fool humans into months (even years!) of wasted time with an incompatible partner.

Chemistry is the desire and magnetism we feel towards someone. There’s an irresistible urge to be next to them that is hard to fight. It’s raw, physical attraction. As fun as that sounds, too many people are fooled into thinking that lust or great sex must mean this person is “the one.”

Chemistry is important because it does spark interest at the beginning of a relationship. However, chemistry ebbs and flows as real life begins to set in and you become more comfortable with one another, and the initial excitement wears off. When this reality hits, relationship compatibility is what keeps a couple together.

Different Areas of Compatibility

There are several areas where compatibility is essential in a healthy relationship. When the following ideas are aligned, they act as the glue to keep a couple going strong, even during times when the chemistry is waning or during difficult times, such as the loss of a loved one, or being fired at a job.

  • Emotional compatibility — Your partner is the one person in this world you can trust with all your true feelings. You can lay it all out and there is no judgement.
  • Physical compatibility — You both agree on the importance of sex and have similar sex drives or at least respect each other’s different drives and work hard to adjust accordingly.
  • Philosophical compatibility — You share the same basic philosophies about life. Religious choices, thoughts about what love means, and even what life means, are closely aligned.
  • Financial compatibility — You agree on how to handle finances. You are working toward retirement or financial freedom together and share the same ideals about debt and spending.
  • Goal compatibility — It’s clear what you both want in life. You are on the same page when it comes to children, careers, where to live, and anything other major decisions in the future.

How Will You Know?

They say, when you know, you just know. There is certainly truth to this statement. Still, date purposefully and keep compatibility in the forefront of your mind. You’ll know when you can start checking off boxes as you have conversations about life, goals, and dreams.

And remember; don’t let chemistry fool you or act as a substitute for compatibility. While chemistry and fireworks are exciting, you need to have a strong foundation with your core values if you are going to form a deep and long-lasting connection that can withstand the test of time.

Platinum Poire—the power-couple matching service in NYC—is passionate about connecting compatible individuals who are seeking something real…a love to last a lifetime.